Moms, stop shaming and start supporting each other!

May 10, 2018 | by Edward-Elmhurst Health
Categories: Healthy Driven Moms

What’s up with all the mom shaming lately? Being a mom is a hard enough job without all the criticism we put on each other.

From how you discipline and dress your kids, to their eating and sleeping patterns, the shaming has got to stop.

Why do we feel guilty if we don’t throw our kid an over-the-top birthday party — complete with a real live pony and cotton candy stand? If we don’t pack a Pinterest-worthy homemade organic lunch each day, does that mean we don’t care about our child?

There are the stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) who criticize other moms for working too much and not spending enough time with their kids. The working moms criticize the SAHMs for their “easy” life of not getting up to go to work each day (after all, what do they do all day?!). Well, the working mom may have no other choice, and for the SAHM, daycare may be more expensive than staying at home.

Sometimes the “breast is best” moms look down on the bottle feeding moms. The truth is, two-thirds of moms who want to breastfeed are unable to stick with it for as long as they wanted. Because for some moms, it isn’t so easy.

Parenting seems to have become a competition, with social media fueling the fire. Ever feel pressure to take multiple photos of your child just to share the perfect one online? What we share is an illusion. We all know it, but it still makes us feel bad when another mom’s life seems way better than ours.

You may be guilty of mom shaming too, if you’ve ever judged another mom at Target, on the playground, or on Facebook.

A new study from the University of Michigan of moms with at least one child under age 5 showed that 6 out of 10 moms report that they've been shamed for their parenting choices. Most criticism comes from family members, but 12 percent is from other moms and 7 percent is from commenters on social media.

Moms who are shamed end up having even more anxiety about their parenting decisions. The authors of the study call it "maternal anxiety,” and it’s causing moms to constantly question their choices.

Every mom questions her ability to be a good mom. We wonder if we are doing a good job. We compare ourselves to others and feel inadequate.

None of us are perfect. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Let’s not make it more difficult than it already is.

Mother’s Day will be here soon. Let’s lift each other up! Here’s how moms can stop shaming and start supporting each other:

  • Don’t judge. We can never say what we would do in someone else’s shoes — because we aren’t in their shoes (we never were). We need to stop the judging.
  • Compliment another mom. You’ve probably seen another mom doing something you admired. Let your mom friend know she’s doing a great job. A compliment goes a long way.
  • Help out your fellow mom. It takes a village to raise a child. We can’t do this alone. When you can, help out your mom friend. You will need help too at some point.
  • Stop bragging on social media. Instead of posting that perfect pic every time, throw in one that is actually real. Your child’s face is covered in food and nobody is looking at the camera.
  • Take care of your health. When we feel good about ourselves, when we are rested and not burnt out, we are less likely to partake in mom shaming, or get affected by it.
  • Build your support network. Parenting can be a lonely experience. Social support can help you feel more confident as a mom. If you don’t have a support network, make one for yourself.

Remember, if you are worried that you aren’t a good mom, it means you’re a great mom.

When we stop shaming each other and start supporting each other, parenting becomes a whole lot easier — and more enjoyable. We’re all doing the best we can.

Get social, new moms. It’s for your own good.

HDHeroes Mauricio Fernandez1crop

Spinal surgery put nearly paralyzed dance instructor on road to recovery

In October 2022, Mauricio Fernandez, 29, of Lombard, tumbled down the stairs. Within a day of his fall, Fernandez was...

Read More

HDHero Bella Mendoza

Naperville athlete defies odds with recovery from a “triple-whammy” knee injury

After Bella,17, injured her knee, she avoided surgery with a comprehensive care plan by experts at Edward-Elmhurst...

Read More


When is it time for bariatric surgery?

When non-surgical methods aren’t helping you reach your goals, bariatric surgery may be the key to better health and a...

Read More