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What’s up with all the mom shaming lately? Being a mom is a hard enough job without all the criticism we put on each other.
From how you discipline and dress your kids, to their eating and sleeping patterns, the shaming has got to stop.
Why do we feel guilty if we don’t throw our kid an over-the-top birthday party — complete with a real live pony and cotton candy stand? If we don’t pack a Pinterest-worthy homemade organic lunch each day, does that mean we don’t care about our child?
There are the stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) who criticize other moms for working too much and not spending enough time with their kids. The working moms criticize the SAHMs for their “easy” life of not getting up to go to work each day (after all, what do they do all day?!). Well, the working mom may have no other choice, and for the SAHM, daycare may be more expensive than staying at home.
Sometimes the “breast is best” moms look down on the bottle feeding moms. The truth is, two-thirds of moms who want to breastfeed are unable to stick with it for as long as they wanted. Because for some moms, it isn’t so easy.
Parenting seems to have become a competition, with social media fueling the fire. Ever feel pressure to take multiple photos of your child just to share the perfect one online? What we share is an illusion. We all know it, but it still makes us feel bad when another mom’s life seems way better than ours.
You may be guilty of mom shaming too, if you’ve ever judged another mom at Target, on the playground, or on Facebook.
A new study from the University of Michigan of moms with at least one child under age 5 showed that 6 out of 10 moms report that they've been shamed for their parenting choices. Most criticism comes from family members, but 12 percent is from other moms and 7 percent is from commenters on social media.
Moms who are shamed end up having even more anxiety about their parenting decisions. The authors of the study call it "maternal anxiety,” and it’s causing moms to constantly question their choices.
Every mom questions her ability to be a good mom. We wonder if we are doing a good job. We compare ourselves to others and feel inadequate.
None of us are perfect. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Let’s not make it more difficult than it already is.
Mother’s Day will be here soon. Let’s lift each other up! Here’s how moms can stop shaming and start supporting each other:
Remember, if you are worried that you aren’t a good mom, it means you’re a great mom.
When we stop shaming each other and start supporting each other, parenting becomes a whole lot easier — and more enjoyable. We’re all doing the best we can.
Get social, new moms. It’s for your own good.
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